Oral Fix

One of the decided benefits of my stay here in this DOC mandated rehab is my toothbrush.  Ok-yes, gone are the days or wrestling with a (barely) 3 inch plastic stump, straining my numbed fingers to maneuver the all-too-swiftly-tired bristles into position to snag those pesky food fragments trapped in the nether regions of my mouth.  Gone, also, are the mornings of bleary-eyed grappling with a stubby stick too short even to stir an average cup of coffee.  (Not that I’d want to.)  And no more standing at the sink, my forearm immersed nearly to the wrist in my foam-drooling maw, grappling with the MCDC-issued implement pursuit of oral hygiene.

Now, I have it all-a deluxe high-end apparatus of dental dexterity.  A veritable Cadillac of cavity cleaner, a BMW of a breath freshener, a Mercedes of mouth cleanliness-it is mine!  Measuring nearly 8 inches, this sleek beauty features an ergonomically molded handle complete with 3 strategically placed  patches of gripper bumps, and a flat oval on the hand end bottom (for upright stability when set down on the bathroom countertop.)  The brush head has 3 different colored bristles, arranged in a pattern that’s no doubt to ensure maximum debris removal.  Their wavering heights are apparently designed to further assist in complete cleaning of the oral area. And-lookie here!-at the tip end of the brush, an angled tuft of specialized bristles gets down to the gum line efficiently.  But wait-there’s more!  On each side of the brush head, attached firmly as limpets to a rock, there are 3 tapering points of flexible plastic to massage those gums and promote that all-important healthy circulation.

Aaah-today, I revel at the dual control sink, sweeping my canines, incisors, and molars with blissful abandon, delighted that the dark days of dinky dental devices are well in the past!

Dorm B eat your heart out!   Or rather, eat and then see just how much you wish that you had a supreme scrubber like mine!



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