Good “Stupid” Excuses To Use In Jail…

That’s not my name

I wasn’t eating my bunkie I was looking at her rash

Stealing food off tray “she said I could have it.”

If it’s contraband why do they give it to us?

It’s only a paper bag

… Well what happened was….

I didn’t take it, roll the tapes

It wasn’t me that hit her, it was my arm

I didn’t push her, she tripped over my foot

I didn’t closer her door, the wind blew it

They wouldn’t give me my medication

It wasn’t my idea 

Sounded better in my head

I don’t know what the f&^% you’re talking about

It’s not an excuse

It was just a joke

We were just testing you

just wanted to see your reaction

I had gas

I was gonna put it back 

I wrote myself that love note

What are you talking about, that’s not mine

I didn’t push her, I’m giving her a neck hug

I wasn’t feeling her up, I was feeling for lumps

I didn’t talk to him, he was talking to me

What was I suppose to do, he whipped it out?

How could I not look?

I didn’t hit her, I was rearranging her face

I didn’t see it

I wasn’t masturbating, I was scratching

I don’t remember doing that

If I can’t remember it didn’t happen 

That’s not in the rule book


Stupid look on face…silence 

Damn.. busted

I was just trying to cuddle

I had a bad dream 

It wasn’t me, I was sleeping

I was just changing.. her room was closer

I was just doing my homework

This isn’t where I parked my car


-Queen B + Little Bit


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