This is a shake down when the CO bad-asses get their laugh. We get cabbage, beans or anything else that causes gas for lunch. They give just long enough to hit us then wham-o! They hit us. They bring in this chair, but no ordinary chair, a metal detector chair. You sit your butt down first then you put your chin on the back of the chair. When they are sure you have no metal in your ass, when your ass and your chin don’t beep, they do a physical search of you, here we go strip down again. I think they just like to see us nude. Then they put you in hall OMG where’s the nose plugs. Now, what happens if you set this thing off and it goes beep beep beep you better be ready for a rubber glove inspection of your body. Because these CO bad-asses won’t take your word that at 63 you have a metal rod in your leg from 40 years ago because it is not in your records here so it must not be true. Now as the Bozos call to get the medical records from the doctor it is now after two hours of trying to figure out why the 63 year old lady set the Beep Beep chair off finally going room to room tearing them apart again only this time they take your photos of Jesus and your papers and throw them out with the trash. Guess they did not get laid the night before, or the doughnut shop was closed, but don’t throw out Jesus with the trash, that’s not cool. Meanwhile in the hall thirty to forty women are starting to get pissed off because the gas in this little hall is taking up the cool air and we are now hot, we have to pee and some of the women need to go wipe their ass coz their farts smell like they done shit themselves. The CO’s get done but they’ve heard us complaining so they stand around and BS for a little bit. Finally they find out the 63 year old lady was telling the truth and was not hiding a stash or two and they have Main Control open the door so the CO don’t have to smell what comes out of the hall as they laugh and tell us to clean our rooms. As they take our pictures of Jesus out with the trash.