I prayed for God to kill me once or twice, that was the cost, that was the price, I’d be willing to pay to make the pain go away.
A pain so deep it sinks into your bones, comes and goes, won’t leave you alone. Varying symptoms it likes to give, leaving you wondering if this is a life you live. Can’t call it a life ‘cause its merely existence, so this drug of choice didn’t put up resistance.
If I could go back and change things somehow, knowing all the things that I know now, the first flick of the needle, the feel of the band, I would have said no, would of turned and ran. No longer to kill, not what I pray, now my prayer starts out:
God, just for today.
by, Milly C. Rachel